"I believe there is a writer outside ourselves, plotting a better story for us, interacting with us, even, whispering a better story into our consciousness" --Donald Miller Searching For God Knows What
Searching for God knows what. That's exactly how Scott and I have felt these past few months. I'm sure Selah at her young age could even feel it too. The uncertainty, the stress of trying to muscle together some sort of plan. Even though there already is one. And its better than any we could come up with. Why do we do that?
Our small group talked this week about Jacob and the details of how God's plan worked out for him. God promised the birthright to Jacob even from birth. The moment he was born God said that the older which was Esau, would serve the younger which was Jacob. And for some reason, Jacob's Mom got worried that this wouldn't really happen. I guess she freaked out thinking God wouldn't actually do what He said He would do, she still thought that Esau would receive the blessing. Even though God clearly said Jacob. So she created this manipulative plan, covered her son Jacob in fur because Esau was a furry man. And tricked their sick and practically blind father into blessing Jacob whom Isaac (the father) thought was Esau. This then made a huge ruckus in the household, causing Esau to burn anger toward Jacob to the point that he was ready to kill his own brother. Jacob had to run away from his family, and faced all the crazy consequences in his life. All to cheat his way to the promise God had already given Him.
The craziest part is. God STILL kept His promise. Even after this kid tried to steal and deceive in order to get what her wanted.
Find this story in Genesis 25-33
We all sat there confessing to trying to mess with God's plans for us. We hear/feel/see/think/dream about some sort of story for us. Everyone does it. We feel like there is a big story that we are apart of just like Donald Miller writes about in his book that I referenced above. And I have been proven over and over again, when I allow the writer to write my story, its better. And I'm better. I'm a better character in God's story than in my own. I don't know how to write myself as well as the writer does, of course not, He's the Author! and perfecter!
Anyway, all that goes to say. We got really tense in our house. Where are we going to live? Where will we work? How will we get there? BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH noise noise noise planning toiling toiling...worrying and worrying which gets you know where. I once had a friend that said worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair. All you do is rock, but you get no where.
When we finally settled down, and committed once and for all to go about this in the way we felt most peace about. Doors started to open. We stopped toiling. We stopped applying places, sending out our resume's, trying to basically sell ourselves in order to get down there. We just gave up. And gave in. And it seems as though, that was exactly the story the writer wanted to write. Because the story started to get good, instead of hopeless.