I can't say how crazy it feels that I am so impacted by the passing of Steve Jobs. It really is crazy to me. He's from a completely different generation. I used to think that the Apple was more of a cult than a demographic being reached. I also felt that their products were mainly hype and over priced. Even from an early start, I remember how my Fourth Grade computer class was filled with Commodore 64's and one lone Apple IIGS in the corner, specially reserved for those that excelled in skill and behavior. Both of which I was lacking. Besides, we used an Amiga at home.
Steve Jobs started slipping into my life with the advent of the ipod. I'm sure many begin their story that way. I remember thinking,"1,000 songs? Whose ever going to listen to that many songs." Little did past-Scott know he would now have double digit gigs worth of music and love the variety and accessibility. I finally succumbed to getting an ipod, didn't have to loose my self-built PC, an acceptable compromise. Steve creeped in further when I began getting more interested in Web and Graphic Design. I was forced to ask why so many in the field preferred Mac over PC. After much thought, fiscal research, customer reviews, and prayer I told Tabitha, I think we should invest in a home computer and it should be a Macbook. Shortly after I was following the delivery truck online to see when our 15" Macbook Pro would arrive at my door. The speed, user friendly nature, and lack of constant updates and viruses quickly sold me. I drank the cool-aid and joined the Mac groopies.
I hadn't realized how much one man had began to effect my life. Tabitha had to point out how I had started to edge new buyers toward Mac. He was showing up in events great and small. Steve's influence was at my wedding via our reception playlist. He was there helping me create a more relaxed presence during the birth of Selah. And he was superhero during recent long car rides, as Selah was soothed by streaming Little Einsteins on Tab's iphone.
And one of the most awesome things Steve has done is happening today, by helping me grieve the loss of our son. As many of you know, Tabitha and I were expecting again when we moved to Fort Mill. A few months after our arrival we learned that we lost the pregnancy. To us, a person is a person, no matter how small, so he become part of our family as soon as we saw the plus sign. True to form, the Lord had told me early on that it was a boy. As a Father, I was very excited and have taken the loss pretty hard. We don't agree with what happened and don't take our optimism as ignoring our right to grieve. But see, we believe that even something that is devastating can become quite amazing if placed into God's hands.
See, it wasn't Steve Jobs that actually impacted my universe necessarily, as much as it was how I used the products he helped to create. It was also that I let him make a dent in my universe. I like how Steve said,“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?” I believed him when he said the iPad was a magical product. I don't think he said that because of what the iPad was, an incredible machine, but I think he said it because he could see how everyday people would use it and how everyday people using that machine could impact the world for the better. I think it's rare to see that kind of optimism and hope for humanity these days.
Though our son was only here for a moment, he has created a huge dent in our universe. We are learning it more everyday and we are learning how to allow him to be an impact on our lives everyday until we see him again, face to face. Just one more element of the "here but not yet" paradox of Christianity. Our son was scheduled to arrive this week. Which probably has a lot to do with why Steve's passing is impacting me so much. There are still lots of tears to be shed, maybe for Steve too, but there is so much hope in us for what our experience can mean for the future. And I just want to honor him, as our son, by recognizing that dent he's made on us, openly and honestly.
We feel closer to God than ever before. We are becoming more open to the reality of Heaven. We are growing in love for Selah and are becoming excited for the opportunity to love the children we will have in the future. It really is amazing just what can impact us if we let Him do His thing.